


Giving Up the Gun

by Dinosquirrel



Category: Homestuck
Genre: AUish, Drabble, Homestuck - Freeform, M/M, Sadstuck, dirkjake - Freeform, really sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-16
Updated: 2017-11-16
Packaged: 2019-02-03 07:45:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12744042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dinosquirrel/pseuds/Dinosquirrel
Summary: This is a little bit of a sadstuck "drabble" (it's too long for a drabble and too short for a oneshot). It's the universe without John going back and figuring out the zappy-thing. It's really sad.





	Giving Up the Gun

Giving Up the Gun

Your sword’s grown old and rusty  
Burnt beneath the   
Risin’ sun  
***  
I met you online. It started simple. Jokes about anything from dicks to pimps, from sleep deprivation to old linguistics. There wasn’t a day where we spoke seriously about anything. There was no drama, nothing. We were best friends You put up with everything I said, all the old and outdated “good golly” and “devil dickins” phrases. You helped me learn about fighting, even if it was a little odd. I learned so much from you. And you, from me. The places we’d been, the ways of older people, and so on. I always wondered where I came from. Of course, I never told you. We weren’t emotional. Then, I logged on to Bettybother and talked. Never about anything important. Just about all the ways that life was, all the things we didn’t talk about to people we knew. Or at least, people you knew. I was always alone. You, Roxy, and Jane were my only friends. Of course, my extreme amount of animals that for some reason lived around me didn’t count.   
When I met you in real life, or whatever, you were so much prettier than I thought. You were macho, you were strong, everything I wished I was. Once we started our adventure, I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. That was when we began to talk about deeper subjects. Instead of just thinking of some simple thing, we discussed fears and emotions. Jane and Roxy were gone. They were off on their own, doing whatever. I never knew. We started dating that month. We fought side by side, never thinking of anything else.   
***  
It’s locked up like a trophy,   
Forgetting all the things it’s done.  
***  
I didn’t expect what happened when Jane got that lollipop. I didn’t remember anything. Until I woke up, head throbbing. You were gone. And then, whatever happened to Jane happened. She was insane. I was trapped. All alone, in a cage. All I could think of was you. Wherever you were. I wished I could find you, or that you would find me and get me out of here. Your ghost appeared a few times. But I knew it was never you. You couldn’t be here. I wasn’t able to stop her. She was possessed. That robot you made me, the training, was all gone. I was so scared without you. There was no way I could possibly make it out. And I knew that. I stayed there until I couldn't anymore. Then… whatever that was. That horror. I was dead before I knew it. And you were gone.  
***  
Dirk  
***  
When I was 17  
I had wrists like steel   
And I felt complete  
***  
I failed. John asked. I failed.  
I left. I had failed you, Jake. You and your stupid hope bubble were dead and gone. And I wasn’t there. I had been trapped, stuck wherever that was that the circle was. I had no idea. You were just… Gone.   
So, I left. There was nothing left for me here. I was stuck, done. There was nothing I could do. I didn’t go back to your planet; I couldn’t. They were all gone. So instead, I didn’t go anywhere. I stayed there, space and artifacts all around. No people, no life, nothing. It felt how I did. It was… accurate. I stayed there, imagining what would have happened if I were at all smart. If I had found a way to save you.  
***  
But now my body fades  
Behind these brass charades  
And I’m obsolete.  
***  
It’s been years, with nothing to keep me company. In theory, I could go and find a dream bubble. But that still wouldn’t be enough. You wouldn’t be there. Only people I barely knew, all dead, all with different lives. They were all people in their own right, but none of them would compare to you.   
“Where are you?”  
I could never find you. You were gone. You were gone. You were gone.  
***  
But if the chance remains  
To see those better days  
I’ll put the cannons down  
***  
You were gone  
***  
My ears were blown to bits  
From all the rifle hits  
But still, I crave that sound  
***  
My brain worked overtime. Dreaming up ways I could’ve done better. Dreaming ways I could’ve stopped your death, stopped the death of everyone. I still thought of you.  
***  
Your sword’s grown old and rusty  
Burnt beneath the rising sun  
It’s locked up like a trophy  
Forgetting all the things it’s done  
***  
I passed through a dream bubble earlier. I saw so many people. Even Aranea. She had no regrets. I left that bubble as fast as I could. You wouldn’t be there. The only thing that would would be pain and sorrow. I couldn’t talk to anyone. I even left my glasses behind. Now, there was nothing between me and the dark.   
***  
And though it’s been a long time  
You’re right back where you started from  
I see it in your eyes   
And now you’re giving up the gun.

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by a song by Vampire Weekend. It's called giving up the gun. Look it up.


End file.
